Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for 2 days because my asshole was swollen shut.

So, next time your having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Squeaky Wheel, baby!

......okay, I was WRONG. My job is NOT safe. Why? Because the people who work over me are IDIOTS.

They assure me that I will be the webmaster no matter what we do. Ne? Okay. That's fine.

THEN they say that they want to move the entire site to THEIR network, on THEIR computers, so THEY will be the ones to maintain it from now on - out of my control.

Hello. Problem here. Those two things are mutually exclusive.

*is not panicking is not panicking is not panicking* And dude is THERE and they said he's got great IDEAS and they're going to be listening to him and convincing me and we're going to have a huge conference call on Tuesday and AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

*pants* Okay. I'm fine now. REALLY. I don't need money to LIVE or anything like that... @___________________@

*meeps at Crono* Wow... those are some incredible compliments. *blushing* That you would think that is very, very much an honor in my book - I thank you. ^^; And sure - I'd be quite glad to look over whatever you wish me to look at. My email is sheesh@iamnotboring.com - send it on over, and I'll take a peek and answer whatever questions you have. ^_^

Woo. *still honored*

Woo, new blog! *waves at Pisces6* Thanks for linking me. ^_^

Hey, all. ^_^ I do live. AND I saved my job (take THAT, Dan). And all is well, except that today somebody tried to stop me from graduating and I almost killed her.

But I didn't. Aren't you proud?

To boot, I have gotten a new cell phone because my old one constantly broke; that, and I REALLY liked the floor demonstration of this one. *grin* I told the salesman - fun guy - that mine was always breaking and did he have a sturdier model?

He proceeded to take the one he owned off his belt and toss it over his shoulder to the tile floor with a, "whoops." Then showed me that it still worked - not even a scratch.

Sold me, I can tell ya. ^_^

Lesee, other than that, I have had NO time to write, which is miffing me most greatly; hopefully I'll get a chance over Thanksgiving, but before that, I have two exams, four papers, and one MASSIVE presentation due. @_______@ All by next Wednesday.

*mutters to self* I WILL graduate in May, I WILL graduate in May, I WILL graduate in may....

On the other hand, I do know what I want to do when I get OUT of here. Mostly.

I'm going to pursue a degree in vocal performance. Woo. Excuse me while I go sit down. ^_^;;

Okay. I should SO be in bed. So, I'm going. ...soon.

Oh, P. S. - give lots of love to Isa - I'm not going to say what happened because that's her place or not at all, but... suffice it to say things are not well in Isa-land. Not her fault, either. ^^;

Ja!